Story: A Lifestyle That Is Me

30 10 2006

I lay in bed. The darkness surrounded me. The air was stale and cold.

A light shone through my window where the curtain wouldn’t block it out, no matter how hard I tried to cover it. It never bothered me though, not as much as the hole in my window from those rotten kids in the street.

I knew they hated me and I hated them. I never fitted in anywhere went, so what I didn’t need anyone else. No one else needed me.

Well that was a matter of opinion.

I guess the fact when you’ve been alone as long as I have in a short life, you only have one opinion.

It’s funny I’ve always replaced words like lonely with independence and friends with liability, they don’t really help the pain but then again what would.

Death?

No death would only prolong the pain. People can be stupid thinking death is the only way out, in reality it’s the only way out for the pure. Me? I’m not pure. I’m a disgrace to this world.

My only way out is any drugs I can get my hands on. They keep me sain, they make me insane and yet an addiction is my redeemer.

A lifestyle of course there will always be fucken goodie goodies that think they know best. Constantly people telling you that you have a problem, that you need help and that they can help you because they care.

They think all they know, that they could possibly understand but until that moment when nothing else matters and your soul is lifted outside of time and space, a feeling of satisfaction washes over your entire being, they don’t know fucking shit!

That is my only escape.

That is my only alternative.

That is me.

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